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The Failings of Fairy Tale Fathers
by Sophie Weeks
When I was a little girl, perhaps six or seven, my family
spent part of the summer on a small island.
Since it was a very safe community, I was allowed to ramble and play
mostly unsupervised. One day, when I was
playing by the rocky shore, a big, aggressive black dog approached. It barked.
It growled. I knew it meant me no
good. I tried to get away from it by
wading into the chilly sound, but it followed.
I screamed for help.
Within instants, my father came tearing out of the
house. He chased the dog away, came into
the water, and scooped me up in his arms to carry me to shore. Though my relationship with my father has
pretty much never, as far as I can recall, been trouble-free, I knew that when
the chips were down, he would save me.
And that's how it's supposed to be.
So what's up with these fathers in fairy tales (http://thesecretadventuresofwritergirl.blogspot.com/2013/02/horrible-fathers-in-fairy-tales.html)? The “stepmother problem” is fairly
easy to understand. In an age where
women frequently died in childbirth, it was quite likely that you might lose
your mother. And if another woman came
along, one with her own children, could she really love you as your mother
would? But fathers! If mothers are the nurturers in our
collective consciousness, then fathers are the protectors, the ones who keep
the family safe (I understand that there are many dads who are more teacher
than warrior and plenty of mama bears who defend their young, but I'm talking
about how most people perceive these different roles). In stories, though, they don't. They abandon their children in the woods
(Hansel and Gretel), send them off to live with a beast to save their own skin
(Beauty and the Beast), drive them off for not being sufficiently ingratiating
(Love Like Salt), chop off their hands (The Girl Without Hands), or eat them in
a stew (The Juniper Tree).
Why are these stories so skeptical about a father's
affections? I can think of a couple of
reasons. One is that fathers throughout
history weren't always encouraged to be particularly intimate with their
children. Dad's job was to set the whole
baby process in motion and then earn enough to feed the brat. It was Mom's job to actually give the child
attention and affection. To generations
who grew up with distant or absent fathers, it may have seemed quite probable
that your dad would unknowingly eat you up for dinner, happy to have such a
yummy stew.
But I think there's another answer. Fairy tales are romances: adventures that
portray erratic wanderings, mystic creatures, and impossible tests. But for these elements to become active, the
forces of order must be disrupted. The
foolish son must set out to find his fortune, the unhappy princess must find
people who respect her true value, the clever daughter must save herself (and
often her brother too). If the father,
who symbolizes law and order, is present and attentive, none of these these
things will occur. Cinderella will go to
her father, show him her ashy gown and cry, and he will right things. Hansel and Gretel's father will kick out his
nasty wife and hug his children tight to his chest. Beauty's father will be killed by the Beast,
and poor Beauty will mourn him—but she will never meet her prince. For stories to happen, the forces of
authority have to be lacking in some way.
Just as nearly every gothic heroine is an orphan, fairy tale
parents have to be unsatisfactory.
Tolstoy famously remarked, “All happy families are alike; each unhappy
family is unhappy in its own way.” Happy
families don't send their children into the woods—but the woods are the place
of magic, adventure, and transformation.
There must be an initial failure that then drives the hero or heroine
into the broader world. So forgive, if
you can, these loathsome fathers, and remember that without them, there would
be no story.
O F F I C I A L I N F O:
Title: OUTSIDE THE SPOTLIGHT
Author: Sophie Weeks
Release Date: March 5, 2013
SUMMARY:
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