{Review} THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN WITCHES by Lauren Magaziner

O P E N I N G   H O O K:

   RUPERT WAS DOWN IN THE DUMPS. LITERALLY.

The garbage from Gliverstoll's town dump sloshed around his ankles, and piles and piles of trash extended as far as he could see. Rupert reached forward to peel something slimy off a bicycle handle, all while lamenting his horrible luck. Why did he have to be in Class B with the dreadful Mrs. Frabbleknacker? Everyone in Class A had Miss Snugglybuns—and she was supposedly the nicest, most wonderful teacher who ever lived. Rupert heard that Miss Snugglybuns baked her students a four layer cake every day. And during science class she brought in a big lamp and a watering can to help her class make rainbows.

But no. Rupert was stuck with Mrs. Frabbleknacker, who thought that the best way to teach waste management was to make her science class find a paper clip buried somewhere in the town dump.

(Page 1-2, US Paperback Edition)

     “WITCH TO BOY, WITCH TO BOY—CAN YOU HEAR ME? IF YOU CAN HEAR ME START WORK IN ONE HOUR. MEET AT THE FISHING DOCK. WEAR PURPLE. IF YOU CAN'T HEAR ME THEN MEET ME AT MAIN BEACH IN TWO HOURS, AND WEAR ORANGE."

~Witchling Two, THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN WITCHES

Halloween is fast approaching my fellow bookworms, and that bodes a very particular kind of question. What do you do when you want to participate in the holiday festivities but you don't particularly like all that scary stuff? What do you read if you want to be in the mood for Halloween, but don't want to be shaking under your covers at night?

The answer is this: You read THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN WITCHES by Lauren Magaziner. Witches are, after all, one of the staple symbols of our spooky holiday, and this amazing middle grade book will leave children and adults alike laughing till their sides hurt instead of trembling under the covers and reaching for their night lights. It is, in my opinion, an amazing book to read out loud, and I will admit to reading several parts out loud to myself just so I could hear how hilarious things sounded rolling off the tongue.

Rupert is an average boy, experiencing a semi average life in one of the few towns left that is home to witches. While he hears about interactions between his friends and other townspeople with the witches, his mother is completely against Rupert ever being near them. His curiosity has therefore always been twitching at the back of his mind, and when he finds an advertisement for a witch's apprentice he simply can't say no. Witchling Two is...well...quite possibly the most adorable witch I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. Her character is so vibrant that she flies off the page and you find yourself almost sick with the desire to dive into the book and converse with her yourself. Her pathological fear of bunnies is hysterically dramatic, and the fact that her spells always go topsy turvy...that just adds a lot of fun. As a main character, Rupert is charming. He's a quiet, sweet, slightly meek boy who has been terrorized by an oddly insane teacher. Yet he finds that in Witchling Two's company he his brave, smart, inventive, and capable of so much more than he ever thought. The friendship that plays out here had such a visceral effect on me. When I finished reading I had to call my best friend and relive all of our quirkiest adventures because I felt like my heart was going to pop out of my chest if I didn't.

AND THE STORYLINE, YOU GUYS. Charming, magical, words like these don't even begin to cover it. Lauren Magaziner embodies everything I have ever loved about a Roald Dahl book, but then she takes it the extra mile. The twists in the plot are insanely creative, and yet they flow together so perfectly that you don't feel like you just hit a drop on a roller coaster. You'll find yourself wanting to take a class in witch math, so that you too know that two plus three is honeybee! And the terrible Mrs. Frabbleknacker is a villain that embodies every not so good teacher you've ever had. She's so intense that I think she'd scare Miss Trunchbull from Matilda.

If you're in the mood for a witchy tale that will get you ready for halloween, but also leave you cracking up so hard you think you might have damaged internal organs, then THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN WITCHES is a book you need in your life. Let the sweet, heartwarming, giggle inducing, humor that sticks to the ribs storyline color your life, and remind you what two friends can do when they stick together.

~*~

C O N T E N T R A T I N G S

Content Ratings: highlight between ( ) for details

Romance: PG (This is a book about friendship. The romance train does not leave the station in any capacity.)

Language: PG ( No cursing )
Violence: PG ( Are bunnies violent? There are few conversations about crazy corporeal punishments Rupert's teacher has doled out, but that's about it.)

Other:  

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C O V E R   D E S I G N:

Vibrant covers tend to draw me in, and the cover of this book has the same colorful, quirky appeal as the covers of all the Roald Dahl books I loved so much growing up. I love how the background gets this blurred watercolor affect, and the focus of the cover is truly Witchling Two and Rupert. With Rupert's hands covering his eyes you get the sense that mischief will be awaiting you, and believe me it does.

  ~*~

O F F I C I A L   I N F O:

Title: THE ONLY THING WORSE THAN WITCHES

Author: Lauren Magaziner

Release Date: August 14th, 2014

Publisher: Dial Books / Penguin
Received: Purchased

SUMMARY:

Roald Dahl meets Eva Ibbotson in this hilarious middle grade debut perfect for reading aloud

Rupert Campbell is fascinated by the witches who live nearby. He dreams of broomstick tours and souvenir potions, but Rupert’s mother forbids him from even looking at that part of town. The closest he can get to a witchy experience is sitting in class with his awful teacher Mrs. Frabbleknacker, who smells like bellybutton lint and forbids Rupert’s classmates from talking to each other before, during, and after class. So when he sees an ad to become a witch’s apprentice, Rupert simply can’t resist applying.

But Witchling Two isn’t exactly what Rupert expected. With a hankering for lollipops and the magical aptitude of a toad, she needs all the help she can get to pass her exams and become a full-fledged witch. She’s determined to help Rupert stand up to dreadful Mrs. Frabbleknacker too, but the witchling's magic will be as useful as a clump of seaweed unless Rupert can figure out a way to help her improve her spellcasting—and fast!